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Written by: Samantha Chartier (Shawns niece)

     Who would have thought, he would have left? The one who was always there? The one who would wipe our tears, make us laugh, the one who would do anything just to see us smile. Well, he did leave, seven years ago. It came as a shock really, none of us expected this to happen, not only to us, but to him.

     Shawn was the type of guy that no matter what would help you out. If you needed anything or if you were hurt hed be there. Without a doubt, despite of your relationship with him, hed be there. Its still hard to get over the fact that he is gone, and no matter what we do, he cannot come back. It hurts a lot, but I know hes happy wherever he is. And I also know, he is watching out for me.

     I am very well aware everyone was upset because of his death. He meant a lot to everyone, and all he cared for, cared for him in the same way. This honestly, hurt even more. Just seeing everyone so sad, and upset, made me somewhat angry. I had gone through the why did you leave? and it still made no sense. But we all know this was not his choice, but it still hurt.

     I find myself wondering a lot, about how things would be if he were here. How would my life be different? Never mind my life, how would I be different? With his death, it has made me more helpful to people and ultimately, more understanding. As I got older, I realized that it was his time. That he needed to go, and as much as it hurt, and still hurts, I can accept it now.

     Its funny seven years ago he was taken from me, not only me but all of us. And I can still remember everything from that day. Its like a movie, I slow down our last goodbye, I stop the last time I see him and fast forward the rest. It hurts so much and brings tears to my eyes every time I think of that day. But he knows we would do anything to have him back. And we know hed do anything to come back. Unfortunately, this can not happen. But, he knows that I love him with all I have, and I know I will meet him in heaven.


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